Posted Mar 30, 2010 (11 months into widowhood)
Fatigue has been an uninvited guest throughout this journey and
it has been a hindrance to me, making a challenging situation even
more difficult. It is hard to recall what an energetic day feels
like. There is so much that needs to be done, in addition to all
the many projects I want to do, but everyday the energy and
motivation elude me.
Until recent months, my daily routine was that of a night shifter… going to bed at 3 AM, but unlike most people, sleeping until 1 PM and often even later. I still began my day with my devotional time and reading the Carepage for that day, which meant that many days I didn’t get out of bed until 3 or 4 PM. The pattern I was developing was ridiculous and I knew I wasn’t helping matters with my night owl tendencies. When my feet finally hit the floor, I started my day feeling discouraged because it seemed my day was already shot. I was also feeling convicted of wasting the precious, God-given gift of time. I sensed that the Lord wanted me to make some changes and He brought this to my attention in a very unique way.
Over the months since my Bofren went home, I have often sensed the Lord’s presence… usually feeling comforted after a good cry, and even more powerfully, through the way His messages speak to me personally during my daily devotional time. This has been a new experience for me and makes me feel all the more certain that the Lord is very aware of our personal struggles and circumstances. It still blows me away, to think that the God who created all things would be so aware of, and care enough to speak to my heart, just what I needed to hear. In doing so, He has not only encouraged me and strengthened my faith, but He is so very real to me, now more than ever before!
In mid-November, something happened that I couldn’t explain. I was sleeping very soundly and was gently awakened by a touch on my shoulder. I’m a side sleeper and felt the soft contact on the shoulder I was resting on. I was not startled by this unexpected experience. I opened my eyes to my empty bedroom. My bedside clock informed me that it was 11 AM. This was not a one-time occurrence. I keep a daily handwritten journal and recorded similar experiences on six different occasions over a three-month span between November and early February. On two occasions, I was awakened at 11AM and the remainder took place at 9 AM. Sometimes, I was alerted by a touch on my hand and once, I was sleeping on my back with my hands tucked under my comforter and folded across my chest. On that morning, I felt the weight of the comforting touch on top of the blanket above my hands. It was a morning that I was feeling somewhat anxious because of an appointment I was anticipating. The message I received on that occasion was: Fear not; I am with you!
I often spend several days with my daughter, Sarah, and her family. Sometimes, I ask Sarah to be my alarm clock and she will wake me in her gentle way by stroking my arm until I waken. While staying in their home, I have stirred in response to Sarah’s touch, as well as being awakened by my four-year-old grandson, Colin. On one occasion, I was touched awake and found myself alone, when I opened my eyes in Colin’s bedroom.
I can picture many raised eyebrows of skepticism in response to my experiences, which I have lovingly referred to as ‘Wake Up Calls’. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I would share what happened to me over those months. I still can’t explain it. All I know is, these unique incidents have also served to make God more real to me and have deepened my faith in a profound way. I don’t pretend to understand if the touches came from angels, or the Lord Himself! I have received all of this as a special gift from God! I don’t have to understand it; I just know I was greatly comforted by these very personal touches on God’s part, however they were delivered!
I have decided that the Lord wants me to change my ways, so I now set my alarm for 8 or 9AM. This change in lifestyle is a challenge for me, as I still struggle with my night owl ways, rarely falling asleep before 2 AM. I know the Lord will help me make the adjustment in time. I praise and thank Him for getting my attention and helping me through the transition. I know He has plans for me, which I will not accomplish if I choose to sleep my life away. I want to be like Buck and live my life to the fullest!
I would be curious to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Our God is wonderful and good and knows exactly what we need! Thank You Lord, for all You are to me!
Until recent months, my daily routine was that of a night shifter… going to bed at 3 AM, but unlike most people, sleeping until 1 PM and often even later. I still began my day with my devotional time and reading the Carepage for that day, which meant that many days I didn’t get out of bed until 3 or 4 PM. The pattern I was developing was ridiculous and I knew I wasn’t helping matters with my night owl tendencies. When my feet finally hit the floor, I started my day feeling discouraged because it seemed my day was already shot. I was also feeling convicted of wasting the precious, God-given gift of time. I sensed that the Lord wanted me to make some changes and He brought this to my attention in a very unique way.
Over the months since my Bofren went home, I have often sensed the Lord’s presence… usually feeling comforted after a good cry, and even more powerfully, through the way His messages speak to me personally during my daily devotional time. This has been a new experience for me and makes me feel all the more certain that the Lord is very aware of our personal struggles and circumstances. It still blows me away, to think that the God who created all things would be so aware of, and care enough to speak to my heart, just what I needed to hear. In doing so, He has not only encouraged me and strengthened my faith, but He is so very real to me, now more than ever before!
In mid-November, something happened that I couldn’t explain. I was sleeping very soundly and was gently awakened by a touch on my shoulder. I’m a side sleeper and felt the soft contact on the shoulder I was resting on. I was not startled by this unexpected experience. I opened my eyes to my empty bedroom. My bedside clock informed me that it was 11 AM. This was not a one-time occurrence. I keep a daily handwritten journal and recorded similar experiences on six different occasions over a three-month span between November and early February. On two occasions, I was awakened at 11AM and the remainder took place at 9 AM. Sometimes, I was alerted by a touch on my hand and once, I was sleeping on my back with my hands tucked under my comforter and folded across my chest. On that morning, I felt the weight of the comforting touch on top of the blanket above my hands. It was a morning that I was feeling somewhat anxious because of an appointment I was anticipating. The message I received on that occasion was: Fear not; I am with you!
I often spend several days with my daughter, Sarah, and her family. Sometimes, I ask Sarah to be my alarm clock and she will wake me in her gentle way by stroking my arm until I waken. While staying in their home, I have stirred in response to Sarah’s touch, as well as being awakened by my four-year-old grandson, Colin. On one occasion, I was touched awake and found myself alone, when I opened my eyes in Colin’s bedroom.
I can picture many raised eyebrows of skepticism in response to my experiences, which I have lovingly referred to as ‘Wake Up Calls’. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I would share what happened to me over those months. I still can’t explain it. All I know is, these unique incidents have also served to make God more real to me and have deepened my faith in a profound way. I don’t pretend to understand if the touches came from angels, or the Lord Himself! I have received all of this as a special gift from God! I don’t have to understand it; I just know I was greatly comforted by these very personal touches on God’s part, however they were delivered!
I have decided that the Lord wants me to change my ways, so I now set my alarm for 8 or 9AM. This change in lifestyle is a challenge for me, as I still struggle with my night owl ways, rarely falling asleep before 2 AM. I know the Lord will help me make the adjustment in time. I praise and thank Him for getting my attention and helping me through the transition. I know He has plans for me, which I will not accomplish if I choose to sleep my life away. I want to be like Buck and live my life to the fullest!
I would be curious to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Our God is wonderful and good and knows exactly what we need! Thank You Lord, for all You are to me!
