A New Season

Posted Aug 3, 2010 ( a year and four months into widowhood)

Sunday was my second birthday without my Bofren at my side. These significant days continue to be very difficult emotionally, in spite of the healing God performed in my heart on Easter Day. I thought it might be easier this year, but the truth is, it was more painful this time than last year. I’m certain that the circumstances of my new role as caretaker and my lack of sleep the night prior, greatly influenced my emotional condition on Sunday. The tears flowed freely as I revisited my beloved Mt. Zion for worship.The Pastors message was a perfect reminder that God is an unchanging constant whom we can always turn to regardless of the circumstances of our realities. I am so thankful to know and to be able to depend on that truth, having experienced the challenges of the past and seeing God’s hand in every turn; it makes it so much easier to face the future.

Some of my dearest friends: Tom and Ricky, made my birthday special by treating me to a wonderful dinner at The Cracker Barrel and later a visit with my daughter, Sarah, and her family, greatly raised my spirits. I was also very blessed to see an eagle fly across the roadway at close range, as I drove across a bridge on the way to Sarah’s home. Seeing that immense wingspan and majestic white head and tail always thrills me to my core! After a very pleasant time spending the next day with Sarah and my grandchildren, getting some much needed fresh air and exercise on a five mile walk, I thought I was doing better; when on my way home, I heard a song on the radio that always reduces me to tears. It happens every time, but this time it produced an ugly cry that has been brewing for several months.

The song has great significance to me, as it is one of the songs we used as background music for Buck’s memorial slideshow, that Sarah so lovingly put together to depict and summarize Buck’s life. This song was the backdrop for his hospital days and ends with a picture of my sweetheart on the roof of the garage he was building. He had his hands held high, just as many of us remember him doing so often and openly in church, to praise his Heavenly Father, whom he loved so much! The song was wrapping up as I pulled into my driveway and I could visualize his silhouette against the evening sky, inspiring the painful sobs once again. I have posted the lyrics and video below to this powerful song titled: Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns.

The Bible says we will have trials and tribulation in this life and we all know that is true. Life is full of ups and downs and my new assignment as caretaker brings new challenges and responsibilities. I just want to continue to testify about God’s Faithfulness and the way He sustains me in supplying the daily strength and all I need as my journey goes on. I can’t imagine how my life might be without Him. It is my prayer that all of you have or will experience what the Lord offers to all of us who depend on and have Faith in Him. He is always there for us, the never-changing God! “…I will never leave you or forake you” Hebrews 13:5. HIS WORD IS TRUE!!!

Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns

words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth