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Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for visiting. If you care to follow my story from the beginning, I encourage you to click on the oldest post first and make your way to newer entries. In so doing, hopefully, you will see the hand of God in my healing journey that started in April, 2009.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

No Kings Or Camels ~ Part 1

Posted Jan 8, 2010

My first Christmas season without my Bofren is now behind me and I can’t help but reflect on how different it was without his presence. As my journey as a widow progresses, I am learning how much I don’t know about myself, and how easily and unexpectedly my emotions can surface. One thing I did know for certain; this year and probably all future years, our Christmas Eve traditions (as described in my “Scroogette” entry) would not be upheld. Frankly, I didn’t know what my Christmas was going to look like this year, but it would be a season of new traditions.

It wasn’t until I made a live wreath at my friend, Pat’s, invitation, that I had any desire to dress up my home for the holiday season at all. The wreath inspired me to do a little more, so I started by hunting for the stable that housed all our Nativity pieces. If I was going to decorate, I was going to keep it simple. I was in search of three pieces only: the baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. There would be no livestock and no Kings and their transports.  I was pleased by it’s simplicity and will probably want to duplicate it in years to come.

As Christmas grew closer, I thought about the fact, that if I didn’t put a tree up, it would be the first time in my life that one of my favorite traditions would be missing. At that point, it didn’t feel right and I knew I had to do something about it, although I knew it would be painful emotionally and would require a lot of energy, which has been greatly lacking over the last several months. I knew it would be worth the effort and looking back, I realize I needed to maintain that tradition for me, even if no one else saw it.

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