Posted May 23, 2010 (One year into widowhood)
It’s hard to comprehend that it has been thirteen months since you changed your address, Bofren. I have gone through a years’ worth of seasons and now experiencing my second spring without you. I know that you would be glad to know that I am doing so much better now, since the first year is behind me. I wonder what your first year has been like, but then you probably don’t have an awareness of time or anything that goes on, this side of heaven. I think that’s a blessing, because it would be painful for you to witness the transitioning all your loved ones and friends have experienced without your presence. I think you would be surprised if you knew the impact you had when you were here and how very much you are missed now that you are enjoying being a heavenly resident! It comforts me to know you are with our Lord and experiencing indescribable joy. Some day, you can show me all your favorite WOWS!
There is only one family that I can think of, who don’t miss you at all! They would be the rodents of unusual size, or the critters (as you would have called them) in the back yard that would have been dead meat a long time ago, if you were still here. I mowed down all the tall vegetation around their front and back doors so they would have no hiding places. Much to my dismay, they come out to sun themselves, since their personal groundskeeper was so kind to give them a better view of the garden. It’s like I put out a sign reading: Groundhog Heaven; Free Food, Coming Soon!
Although my life is very busy, I think about you many times throughout the day. Sometimes those thoughts bring tears, sometimes smiles and sometimes both at the same time. I think about all the wonderfulness of you that I miss so much. One day last week, one of your co-workers came to help me with some vehicle stuff. Of course, we talked about you the whole time he was here. I told him you were “the best thing that ever happened to me” and he agreed with me, that you left a giant hole in our lives. I was able to keep it together pretty well emotionally, until, as he was leaving, he said, “if it will make you feel any better; Buck really loved you!” Through my tears I told him, “yes, everybody knew that!” Your love was obvious to many! I was so blessed by the love you invested! Thank you for loving me so well and so deeply. To have you to love and be loved in return was two of the most precious gifts God gave to me!
If I could talk to you face to face, there are so many things that I would want to share with you right now. I would want to tell you how Faithful God has been to me and about all the love poured out on me by our loved ones and friends and neighbors. Now, more than ever before, I realize how important you were to me and how much I miss the person you were. I miss your friendship and the way you loved and took such good care of me. I also miss worshiping with you and how you were so committed to carving out time for us to have fun together. But, what I miss the very most are your hugs, Bofren! All was right in my world, when your warm embraces consumed me! I’m sorry, but it makes me weep now, as I think about it.
I know someday, I will be greeted once again by your smiling face, twinkling eyes, mischievous grin and the bear hugs I long for! Until that day, I promise that I will go on finding joy and making the most of each day that God blesses me with; living my life to the fullest, as I know you would! I miss you more than I can say, but my life is good, as I look forward to seeing what God has planned for my future. I will always love you and you will live in my heart forever!
Moving forward until that day!