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Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for visiting. If you care to follow my story from the beginning, I encourage you to click on the oldest post first and make your way to newer entries. In so doing, hopefully, you will see the hand of God in my healing journey that started in April, 2009.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Time To Go Home

This is a post that described my first few weeks of widowhood.

Posted May 11, 2009

I want to begin my entry today and every time I write, with a disclaimer or warning to remind all of you that this is my personal journal and it will include details that may be difficult for you to relive with me. I do not desire to cause anyone any unnecessary pain with my sharing, but please understand, I will not be holding back. It is the desire of my broken heart to capture as many details as accurately as I can remember in an effort to paint a picture for me to return to and to hopefully speed up my healing as I walk through the days ahead. I pray it will be helpful and a blessing to someone as they follow along.

I have been staying with my daughter Sarah and her family since my Sweetheart's Homecoming on April 21st. Sarah, Bob and their children have been such a blessing to me, as I face the beginning of my new life. Sarah and my "little" brother, John, went with me to make all of the funeral arrangements. My son-in-law, Bob did all the driving for our lengthy trip to and from West Virginia and Sarah and Bob provided comfortable accommodations for the two nights we spent there. Friends and family also were very generous by helping to cover our expenses while away from home. You know who you are, and I know you well enough to know you wouldn't want me to mention your names. Please know that my family and I appreciate your love and thoughtfulness!

When we got back to their Elkton, Md. home, I spent consecutive days in my pajamas before I realized it had been five days since I had been out of the house. I had very little energy and no motivation, as sleeping has become more of an issue, but Sarah kept me involved and I enjoyed the wonderful distraction that my grandchildren provided. I will forever remember my time spent with my family.

My 13 year old grandson, Justin, gave up his bedroom for two and a half weeks and slept on an air mattress on the floor in the nursery, so his Nana would have a comfy place to sleep and he gave me lots of hugs and extra attention. Three- year- old Colin is a hoot and had me laughing out loud at his antics and drama. Then there is six- month- old Kyrstin, who is growing up way too fast, whose precious smiling face and sweet giggles and laughs make everyone light up!

After being pampered and loved up so well, I decided that although I was anxious, it was time to go home. On Saturday morning, Sarah, Kyrstin and I joined several of the York Hospital Chaplains at Chaplain Bob's church. My friend Chaplain Deb told me that Bob was leading an informal discussion on dreams and I decided that would be a pleasant way to spend time with my new friends and would be another welcome distraction. I felt compelled to be there and Sarah was so gracious to take me and join in on the discussion. We both enjoyed our time and the Lord provided a precious gift for me at the end of our group discussion. I’ll share more about that on another day.

Sarah, Kyrstin and I spent most of the afternoon outside, eating our lunch, sitting on the front porch and enjoying the pleasant sunny weather by taking Kyrstin for a lengthy walk with her stroller. It’s the most exercise I’ve had since the first of the year, aside from climbing six flights of stairs a couple times a day, when Bofren was in the University of Maryland Medical Center for five weeks for his heart transplant evaluation. It was a wonderful day, but all good things must come to an end and it was time for Sarah and Kyrstin to head home. It was difficult to break away from her warm embrace and blow her a kiss as she drove off. She has been the most amazing blessing to me throughout the hardest days of my life!

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